i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
sarcasm needs its own font
So gin and wine won't be happening again
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All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
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omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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