I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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