i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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