Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
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she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
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I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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