If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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