At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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