it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
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I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
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Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
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