All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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