Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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