ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize