someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
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I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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