well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Are my feet made of real feet?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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