I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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