she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
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I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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