I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize