I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize