I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize