You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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