I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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