He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize