No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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