so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize