I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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