Your face is a jimmy john
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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