omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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