She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize