her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize