i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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