As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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