The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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