dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
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You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
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It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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