My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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