That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
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we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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