There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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