1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize