escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
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You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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