1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize