I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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