Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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