They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize