we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize