I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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