I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
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How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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