She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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