living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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