out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize