Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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