God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize