you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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