I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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